


Wish Upon a Star

by dreamyloner



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bullying, Drug Abuse, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Parent/Child Incest, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyloner/pseuds/dreamyloner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both have a dysfunctional family. They both have dreams they can never reach. They both want a life different from the one they are living. Perhaps that's why they are so compatible. The pain brings them together. Freedom is what they look for.</p><p>Human AU<br/>Main pairing: Emil/Leon<br/>Other pairings: Arthur/Leon, Mathias/Emil, Arthur/Chun Yan, Arthur/Francine, Mathias/Lukas, Ivan/Chun Yan<br/>Warning: dark fic, dysfunctional family, abusive relationships, twisted plot, underage, father-son incest, dub-con</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Happiness is fleeting.

Bliss sparkles like scintillating fireworks.

It vanishes into the darkness a second after.

Striking yet ephemeral.

Leaving only a whirlpool of dust and mist behind.

* * *

_“I thought I told you to stop taking opium!”_

_“I can’t help it! Do you think I wanna get addicted to this stuff? Do you even have any ideas why I need this? To relieve all the stress you’ve been giving me aru!”_

Leon sat silently at his desk. The incessant bickering lingered in his ears.

He ignored the rants. The spiteful words they flung at each other every day and night.

He picked up his pencil and flipped open his assignment book. The journal title was- “The Happiest Moment of My Life”.

_“You know what, this is your fault everything is so screwed up.”_

_“How is it my fault? You’re never home to begin with!”_

_“Excuse me, don’t you forget who’s the one working so hard for this family! And you? Do you only know how to cheat on me with that goddamn ex-boyfriend of yours?!”_

_“You’re the one to speak! Tell me who was it again that slept with my sister two months ago?”_

**_CRASH!_ **

Leon flinched slightly and began to write.

**The happiest moment of my life is when I was small. We had a wonderful family. Daddy and Mummy never fought with each other. They doted on me a lot.**

The boy ceased writing and frowned.

_“I told you it was an accident!”_

_“An accident? Tell me about it aru! You've never cherished this home. You have no right to accuse me of infidelity. You’re the one who started this first!”_

_“And that doesn’t mean you could just go crawling back to your ex! What is this? Revenge of some kind?”_

** When I was little, Daddy and Mummy loved each other very much. And they loved me more. We always had dinner together. They would buy me toys and bring me to the park every day. We always spent time eating, shopping and watching TV together. **

_“I said we didn’t do anything! We were merely out for lunch!”_

_“As if I’m going to believe that. You two kissed! And probably fucked behind my back!”_

**_SLAP!_ **

_“How dare you say this when I caught you in bed with Sakura!”_

_“Your goddamn sister seduced me first! Anyone would make mistakes. And I already apologised! Why are you doing this to me now?”_

** On holidays, they would always take me to beautiful places for trips. We always went back to Mummy’s homeland at Chinese New Year. At Christmas, we always spent it in many different countries. Once, we went to Korea. I met a friend called Yong Soo there! But we have never seen each other since. **

_“Apologies do nothing! You’re the one who brings us to this. You’re going to regret it!”_

_“Why don’t you just say you’ve never wanted to marry me in the first place? I’m so damn tired of this bullshit!”_

_“If I didn’t have Jia Long back then, I would never have married a bastard like you aru!”_

The lead broke.

A straggling tear trickled down the pallid cheek. Leon wiped it off with his sleeve. He searched his pencil case and pulled out a new pencil.

He started writing again but his hand trembled deliriously. All the words turned into scribbles, some blurred by drops of tears cascading down his face.

** When I was little, I had a very pleasant home. It was warm and comfortable. It made me happy. Daddy and Mummy would always tuck me to bed at night and tell me bedtime stories. They would always whisper how precious I was to them. But they don’t do this anymore. Now, all they do is curse at each other. Daddy likes going out with other girls. Mummy likes taking opium because she thinks Daddy doesn’t love her anymore. And they both despise me. They think I am an eyesore and a burden because I keep them together even though they want to split up. **

_“That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m leaving this hellish place!”_

_“Do as you please, you ungrateful bitch!”_

Leon blanched. Releasing the pencil in his right hand, the boy sprang up from his chair and bolted out of his room. He plodded downstairs and cried, “Mummy!”

The Chinese woman stiffened at the door. 

“Mummy! Please don’t leave…” the ten-year-old pleaded and hugged his mother’s waist.

“Long…” Chun Yan sighed. Her face was pale, eyes swollen and marked by dark circles. Tentatively, she bent down to stroke her son’s hair. “Goodbye, my little angel. I can’t stay here anymore. Your father is tearing me apart.”

“Please, please, don’t leave me!”

The woman clenched her fists and scooted away from the little boy.

“No!” Leon yelped and tried to hold onto his mother. His father held him back.

Chun Yan trotted out of the house and slammed the door, leaving everything behind her.

“Mummy!”

Arthur could only stare in agony. He dragged his son away from the door and hugged him tightly despite his protests. A pang of remorse stirred in his heart as he watched his wife disappear into far distance.

** When I was little, the three of us lived together. **

** I think it was also the happiest moment of my life. **

* * *

Leon blinked hollowly at the ceiling.

_28 days 10 hours._

It had almost been a month since his mother evaded this home; this home she had so blatantly described as suffocating and horrendous.

_14 days 5 hours._

It had been two weeks since his father plunged into depression and wallowed in self-accusation.

_7 days 3 hours._

It had been a week since his mother insisted on a divorce which his father had instantly agreed on.

And now, they were fighting over his custody.

_“Say, Leon would like to stay with Daddy, right?”_

_“No, Long, say you want to be with Mummy more!”_

The boy didn’t answer. He only wished for a complete family. He didn’t want to follow either side because that would mean this family was shattered. It could never be mended.

He remembered the days when his parents were head over heels in love with each other. His father was a respectable British gentleman. His mother was a young lady from China. They had had a beautiful home together. There had been no argument; no beatings; no drugs; no adultery or betrayal.

There were days the boy smiled all the time.

The court decided to hand his custody over to Arthur because he was financially capable of rising the kid while Chun Yan, having been a regimented housewife for ten years, was unemployed.

The woman was devastated. She filed an appeal but the attempt was futile.

“Long, don’t worry. Mummy will visit you from time to time aru. Be a good boy for Daddy, okay?” Chun Yan smiled and ruffled her son’s hair.

Leon nodded. He could weep no more.

“Arthur, take good care of him," Chun Yan muttered, not even bothering to look her former husband in the eyes.

“You don’t even have to say that. I will offer him the best." The blond snorted.

Chun Yan grunted and walked away.

Although she had promised to visit Leon frequently, the boy hardly saw her again.

The house got more spacious. Leon didn’t like it at all.

After his mother’s departure, his father never returned to his normal self. The once approachable gentleman was now grouchy all the time. 

A couple of times, Leon caught his father coming home drunk and dishevelled. When the man indulged in liquor, he always ended up in emotional breakdown. The pressure he received at his office only aggravated the situation. The man would constantly whine about the separation and the penitence he felt after letting his wife go. It didn’t help that sometimes Leon stood in his way.

“Daddy…please don’t drink anymore…” the boy murmured and fidgeted with his hands.

Arthur glimpsed the boy and snorted, guzzling down another bottle of wine. 

“Daddy…” Leon frowned and aimed for the bottle with his small hands. “It’s not healthy to-”

**_SMASH!_ **

The boy leapt. The glass bottle shattered into pieces. The blond laughed and blinked at his son, his eyes unfocused and dull.

“What’s it now, Leon? Daddy is trying to relax. Why don’t you go and do your homework?” Arthur smiled.

“I’ve already finished all the assignments…” Leon reported.

“Diligent as always, aren’t you. Good boy.” The blond patted the small head. “Do your Daddy a favour. Go into the kitchen and get me some wine.”

“No, you shouldn’t drink anymore.” Leon refused promptly, “Drinking is bad.”

“You don’t talk back to me, okay? Are you a good boy? Go and get me some goddamn wine!”

“No! I know Daddy is sad but there must be another way to make you feel better," the boy persisted, his eyes brimming with tears. 

“Now, now, my boy, you understand nothing. GO AND GET THE WINE!”

“No!”

**_SMACK!_ **

Leon collapsed to the floor.

“Gosh, I’m sorry. So sorry.” Arthur rushed to help the kid up and hugged him. “I’m so sorry, Leon. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Don’t leave Daddy, okay? You’re all I’ve left…”

The boy nodded and stifled a whimper.

“Mummy is really cruel. She left us. She went off with another man. I did something wrong…I said I was sorry but she didn’t forgive me…She left with another guy.” Arthur cried, “It breaks Daddy’s heart, you know?”

“I miss Mummy…” Leon whispered.

“Yea…I miss her too.”

“Did you…say you want to make Daddy feel better?” Arthur asked. His mind went blank. The liquor gradually took effects on his nerves. The man felt giddy and somehow…aroused. That pair of amber orbs reminded him nothing but Chun Yan. How sinister.

“Y-Yes? Daddy?” Leon tilted his head and glanced at his father.

“Ah!” The boy hissed. A large hand groped his bottom. He stared at his lightheaded father, who proceeded to secure his other hand around his tiny waist.

“I know a way you can make me feel better…” The grin got wider. “Would you do it?”

“Yes, yes, I would!” Leon replied almost immediately.

“Let’s go back to Daddy’s bedroom first.” Arthur smiled. He scooped up his son and wobbled upstairs.

“Dad…? What are we-” His body flopped down on the fluffy mattress.

“Hush.”

He puckered his lips and complied. Shutting the door, the blond climbed onto the bed and smiled.

Leon gasped.

The lips tasted bitter. Arthur deepened the kiss and clasped the boy's wiggling wrists above his head.

When he finally withdrew from the thunderstruck boy, he smiled again.

"You...look so much like her."

Leon frowned. He knew something had gone astray but he couldn't put a finger on it.

“Sh…Daddy won’t hurt you, I promise."

Arthur chuckled and ripped open the boy’s shirt. A moan escaped Leon’s lips as the other’s mouth latched onto a globe of his flesh. “S-St-” He wanted to ask Arthur to stop but then he remembered that he had agreed to make his father feel better.

If only this could make him happy again, maybe he could give it a shot.

**_Click._ **

The lights went off.

In faint consciousness, Leon felt his father’s hands slip into his pants and slowly crawl their way to his shuddering thighs.


	2. Chapter 2

When the boy regained his consciousness, he was lying on the bed. Naked. Motionless. The garments sprawled across the bed in disarray. He blinked. Fragments of memories lingered.

A thousand apologies followed. He snapped out of his trance. His father was a sobbing mess. The man wrapped his arms around the boy protectively. He had not meant what he did. He had not meant to hurt him, to make him suffer. 

“I’m sorry…Leon…I’m so sorry…please don’t hate Daddy…please don’t leave Daddy alone…”

He didn’t know what else he could do to repent his sin. The boy didn’t budge a bit in his arms. Bruises scattered on his pale skin. Arthur couldn’t help but wonder if his son was still in utter shock.

“Please forgive Daddy…Don’t tell Mummy about this, please?”

The boy stared into those rueful orbs. In all honesty, Arthur had no idea what washed over his mind the night before. He had destroyed the family. He had ruined his wife. And now, he had broken his son.

He didn’t know what could be more messed up than this.

“I…” Leon stuttered and nestled his head on his father's shoulder. “…forgive Daddy…”

What happened that night remained a hideous secret between the father and the son.

The blond made up to the boy soon after. He pampered him, showered him with affection and bought home every day trinkets or food to delight him. Leon wasn’t craving for any of those luxuries his father wasted so much money on. He only wished for everything to go back to how it used to be. He wanted the family complete and his father to smile genuinely at him.

His mother dropped by a few times but she never stopped for long. It was, in fact, a very agonising experience for Leon because every time Chun Yan left, his father would succumb to dejection. Before long, he would start drinking again, relishing in substances like cigarettes, drugs and more.

Leon couldn’t stop the man from wallowing in misery by tormenting his health and body. When he tried to take the retribution away from his father, it would always end the same.

He would find himself lying in Arthur’s bed the next morning; hardly capable of recalling the details of the previous night. His father would then apologise repeatedly, loathing himself for being vulnerable enough to fall prey to liquor and insanity. Leon would always forgive him, because he didn’t want the family to fall apart more than it already had.

His immense stamina and frequent forgiveness soon became a routine. It was, as he suspected, even taken for granted. After a couple of these restless nights, whenever his father was drunk, he would lose control. Sometimes, when he returned home late, the man would find his way into his son’s bedroom and sneak into the duvet before shushing and taking him.

When the boy responded with nothing but adorable moans and muffled grunts, Arthur took it that he was actually enjoying the deed. Leon had not the knowledge to realise what they did was a taboo. Although the first few times were an excruciating and undesirable experience for him, the sessions afterwards were often filled with caution, pleasure and passion. He could feel his father’s need. It somehow, in the most bizarre way, made him feel secure and indescribably relieved. He thought he was making the other man feel better and slowly leave behind the aftermath of his tragic marriage.

Leon took it all upon himself.

He had discovered ways to keep this measly home intact. Aside from submitting himself to the blond in one of his drunken nights, he would also start striving for excellence at school. He had found that his father smiled proudly whenever he scored high in tests and exams. So would his mother when she so rarely came to visit.

Very innocently, Leon believed that by being a good, obedient boy, he might have a chance of repairing this rotten family. His parents would love him enough to be together again.

“Slow down, son. You have more than enough time before the school bus arrives.” Arthur smiled at the eating boy. “Are you sure the scones are okay?”

Leon, not wishing to upset his father, nodded.

The scones never tasted edible but well…he could never say this in Arthur's face. It would only earn him another series of moping and bitter confession like _“Of course. My cooking is never as good as your mother’s.”_

“Be a good boy at school, okay?” Arthur said and stroked the soft hair.

Leon stuffed himself with the last scone from the plate. Gulping down some milk, he stood up from the chair, slung his school bag over his shoulder and trudged towards his father. Just then, a horn was blown.

“School bus’s here. Get going, son.”

Leon nodded and kissed the other man’s cheek.

“Have a nice day.”

“Bye, Dad.”

The boy strode out of the house in silence and got onto the school bus. He scanned the seats and as usual, slumped down next to the beige-haired boy at the back of the bus.

“Good morning, Leon," Emil said monotonously, as if it was an imposed courtesy to greet his classmate and probably sole friend.

“Good morning.” Leon nodded.

Every day it was the same. They sat next to each other on the bus and together in class. Then, they split for a couple of lessons and met up again during lunch. Ironically, they never chatted much. Most of the time, they only tagged along each other in sheer silence. They had no other friends at school.

Emil was a reclusive boy with dyslexia. Abandoned by his parents at an early age, he clung to his brother Lukas, who later moved in with his Danish boyfriend in adolescence. He was a talented student but his slight disability often hindered his learning. There was insufficient support from the school and his inferiority complex often rendered him the target of bullying and alienation.

Leon didn’t know why he chose to hang out with Emil. The same went for the Icelandic boy. They were never the ones to voice their opinions in class. They were just there, observing and listening, following instructions and nothing more.

Perhaps that explained why they were so compatible with each other.

“Leon, your neck…” Emil muttered, blinking inquisitively at the purple blotch on the brunette’s neck.

Leon twitched reflexively and pulled up the collar of his white school shirt.

When he turned to Emil, the silver-haired boy was cocking his brows. It’s not like he couldn’t interpret what was hidden behind the mark.

Leon was lying when he said he didn’t tell anyone.

In fact, he had told Emil the secret about a month ago. It had been almost two years since his parents’ divorce. He knew he could confide in Emil. The Icelandic boy had no intention to tell anyone else, because he too, had experienced more or less the same.

It turned out that his brother’s partner, Mathias, was not so much of a decent guy either. He had had his eyes on the younger boy for some time. He treated Emil like a little brother but the vivid interest was something else. Lukas was a relatively nonchalant man who often rejected the Dane. He had once proclaimed so bluntly that the only reason he was staying with Mathias was because of his financial support. Lukas detested his original home as much as Emil. When he took Emil and ran away from their family, he encountered his childhood friend Mathias at a local bar. After realising that the Dane could offer a temporary shelter for them, he agreed to be his partner.

Deep down, Emil knew very well that Mathias only loved Lukas. Yet, the man couldn’t help it whenever he got brutally turned down by his life-long crush. One night, he sought solace by speaking to Emil. Little did he know that the comfort he yearned for transformed into some kind of twisted affection.

Emil didn’t tell anyone but Leon. He didn’t mention it to Lukas either, for fear of his brother’s outrage and for fear that they would become homeless once Mathias ditched them.

He empathised with Leon but was rather stunned to know that the one inflicting countless pain as well as pleasure on Leon’s body was his own father.

“My dad…got drunk last night,” Leon mumbled. He didn't have to explain any further. Emil was a bit disturbed that the blond had actually left a hickey on his son’s visible body part. Mathias was always very cautious. He would never dare leave any possible trace on Emil’s body, just to avoid his boyfriend's ginger eyes.

“By the way…have you got your Maths done yet?” Leon asked, trying to steer away from the obnoxious topic.

Emil shook his head and sighed.

“I…couldn’t even finish the History essay…The computer at our place broke down…Mathias said he would get someone to fix it next week so for the time being I…have to write all my assignments…”

Leon gasped, knowing how much trouble Emil must have been through. He could learn without much ado but when it came to reading and writing, he was always stuck. His disorder affected his progress gravely.

“I will help you type it later at lunch. We can borrow one of those crappy computers in the library. Miss. Braginski’s class is in the afternoon anyway.” Leon dug into his school bag. “And here.” He smiled and handed his Maths exercise book to Emil. “Just in case you need some reference.”

“Thanks." Emil beamed and took the book gratefully. “You know I hate Maths.”

“I know. But you can’t copy from me during the test. So maybe, like, we can study together after school today?” Leon suggested.

“Wouldn’t you…um…need to go home early? I thought your dad doesn’t like you hanging out after school.”

“It’s fine if it’s for study purpose. He just doesn’t like it when I get detention.” Leon shrugged and zipped his bag. “He won’t be home until, like nine, anyway. Probably will be drunk again.”

Emil frowned and couldn't help feeling sympathetic. Mathias might touch him sometimes but he was always gentle. Leon’s father, however, was always rough and flippant when he was drunk. It’s like he had turned into someone completely different; someone feral with no integrity.

Leon bore the assault fairly calmly, as if he had grown accustomed to Arthur’s behaviour.

“Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“Something unpleasant at work…he said," Leon recited. His father was a white-collar worker. He worked for a renowned international corporation as a senior manager. Working under pressure all the time didn’t help with his already fluctuating mood. Most of the time, he would return home exhausted and drunk. He seldom yelled at Leon, but he would resort to committing something far more incorrigible.

“He has a badass boss, he said," Leon added and glanced out of the window. Emil sighed inaudibly and placed his palm on the other’s hand. Leon blinked and stared at his friend.

“Can we have tea at that new café down the street after school today?” Emil asked flatly and squeezed the hand slightly. Subtle gestures. That’s all they needed between them. “I heard that they have these amazing, giant-sized waffles on a special offer. Can’t finish them on my own. I’ll treat you. And then you teach me Maths. Deal?”

Leon kept staring at his friend’s pale complexion. Emil’s hand was cold without the mittens. He always had a body temperature lower than normal. Automatically, Leon took the palm in his, hoping to engulf it in his warmth.

“Okay. Deal.” Leon nodded, re-focusing his eyes on the scene outside the window.

A mild smile crawled over Emil’s face.

It seemed that the day wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be.


	3. Chapter 3

“Leon Kirkland.”

The boy glanced up from the book he was reading and scurried to the front. The teacher grinned and handed Leon the test paper.

“Full marks again! Excellent!” Ms. Hedervary grinned and patted the boy’s head. From behind, his classmates clapped in recognition of his outstanding performance. The boy smiled inwardly, pondering how gleeful he would make his father with this score.

“Thank you, Miss," the boy nodded politely and strutted back to his seat.

“Can I see?” Emil whispered with a smile.

“Sure.” Leon slid the paper across the desk.

“Wow. You’re amazing.” It was a very curt comment, really, but his eyes glinted with appreciation. 

“Do you seriously love studying that much?” Emil asked out of curiosity as they ambled towards their lockers after school.

“Not really. I like playing video games,” Leon replied. “Dad gets upset at poor grades, so yea, I like, have to keep the scores up.”

The brunette’s body tensed up immediately. To be frank, he wasn’t really interested in all the subjects he was learning at school. Sometimes, his mind drifted away to…fireworks?!

He loved fireworks. But it was impossible to have them in his yard. So, he played with firecrackers almost as regularly as he went to school. But he could only keep them at home. After he learnt the lesson of pulling a prank on a classmate last time, he didn’t dare give it a second attempt. The punishment he received was horrible and he vowed to never disappoint his father again.

“Do you wanna see my firecrackers?” Leon asked with a beam of excitement.

“I thought we are going to study and have tea afterwards,” Emil reminded him.

“Oh yea, sorry.” Leon nodded and jammed his hands into the pockets with a slight pout. He really wanted to showcase the recent firecrackers he had been so hooked on. They unleashed an assortment of spectacular colours when lit. He had modified and invented the new peculiar shapes by himself, without Arthur’s knowing, of course.

“Hey, I can come to your place another day, okay?” Emil nudged the other boy, trying to cheer him up.

“Yea, that’d be nice.”

They halted in front of their lockers, speechless. Leon stared at the ghastly paints sputtering all over Emil’s locker. The  other boy remained unfazed. His eyes twitched slightly at the unsightly scene.

It’s not like he wasn’t used to these pranks. Sometimes, they could get much worse.

“No!” Leon yelped when Emil reached for his locker. “We should, like, report this to the teacher.”

“It’s okay," Emil mumbled, taking out some tissues from his pockets. "No need to make a fuss about it.” 

“This won’t do. Those paints need to be scrubbed using detergents.”

“Leon, do you think you can help me get some wet towels from the washroom?” Emil asked and tried his best to scrub the door. The paints were fresh and they refused to come off.

Leon nodded and dashed to the washroom. He returned later with some wet towels and detergents. The two boys worked together to rub the paints off. It took them nearly an hour to clean off all the mess on Emil’s locker.

The Icelandic boy wept quietly after they finished rinsing the door. He usually didn't care much what others did to him but he felt ashamed having to drag Leon into this. He knew the brunette would only get harassed like him if they continued being friends.

Leon had other ideas though. He didn’t really mind the trouble of defending Emil. He was probably the only person he would even bother to have any human interaction with.

Because he was different. Different from others.

And because somehow they were so similar to each other.

Both were forsaken. Taken for granted. Abused.

Both realised the only purpose of their existence was to depend on and confide in each other.

“Let’s get going.”

Emil eventually wiped off his tears and snot. He took out his bag and started heading towards the exit.

“Wait up.” Leon followed suit, casually wrapping his hand around Emil's.

Emil glimpsed the brunette with a faint blush but didn't duck. They sauntered down the road.

They did their revision in an hour. Satisfied with their progress, the two set off to have tea.

They ordered their favourite desserts and chatted. They were discussing a recent video game when Emil suddenly gasped.

“What?” Leon tilted his head before following the Emil's gaze out of the window and towards the couple strolling down the street.

“Is that…your mum, Leon?” Emil stammered.

The brunette stared at the woman across the road in sheer disbelief. It was indisputably his mother, but she was walking with another man- a stalwart man with a head of tousled light blond hair and two amethyst eyes. Their hands were intertwined. His mother’s lips wandered on the man’s gorgeously translucent skin. The long trench coat and the trademark scarf he wore all the time gave away his identity. It was Ivan Braginski, the man whom his mother used to have a fling with during the college days.

“L-Leon?” Emil stuttered and shook the other boy’s hand anxiously.

Leon could never take his eyes off his mother. There was a sound of shattering glass and he found it hard to believe that the broken was, in fact, his own heart. 

To believe that one day his mother would return to this household was a complete lie.

He knew it.

He could tell from his father’s eyes that nothing would ever be the same again. Ever since the night he laid his hands on him in a drunken state, he had already claimed him as Chun Yan’s substitute.

The rare meetings he had with his mother proved just how much she didn’t want to return to this home anymore. She had gone back to her ex-lover, just like what his father had told him.

There was no way he could mend this family, however hard he tried to be the best son in the entire world.

From then on, Leon stopped believing in miracles. He ceased having faith in his family. He never shared his ludicrous dream with Emil.

And he hardly smiled again.

All the emotions seemed to have drained the moment he witnessed his mother kissing another man; a man who wasn’t his father; a man who could never be his father.

When he got home that day, his father was a drunken mess. Apparently, he had learnt about the relationship between Chun Yan and Ivan. Once he saw Leon, he gripped him by his wrist and hauled him upstairs.

“You’re late, son. So damn late. What did I tell you about staying out late after school? Huh?”

Leon didn’t have the mind to explain everything to his father. Arthur didn’t even bother to inquire about the dried tears on Leon’s face. When the boy tried to show him his test result, the blond pinned him down and sealed their lips together.

The lights were switched off.

No more words were spoken that night.

* * *

Emil noticed that Leon didn’t reply his text message. He couldn’t sleep that night. The door creaked open and he almost shrieked.

“Sh…it’s only me.”

A familiar voice wafted out of the darkness.

Emil hid his phone in the drawer briskly and turned around. The towering figure drew closer.

“What’s-”

“Sh…” Mathias shushed him. “Lukas kicked me out. I don’t wanna sleep on the couch. So let me sleep with ya tonight, okay?”

Emil shuddered at the thought. He wanted to resist but didn’t. He knew he would just stir up a ruckus if he rejected the blond.

It wasn’t the first time Mathias got turned down by his brother. He was always the second target he would prey on.

The Dane climbed into the bed and draped his arm around the smaller body. Emil scowled and snapped away the swaying hand on his chest.

“What? It’s warmer that way, silly." Mathias smirked. Emil loathed himself for being so feeble. As the hand travelled downwards, brushing sensually along a certain organ of his, he blurted out a moan. The Dane tightened his grip around the youngster with a sly, luscious smile.

It was a long, long night.

* * *

The next day, both boys were late to school. They bumped into each other at the bus stop. Emil tried hard to hide the marks with his scarf and mittens. Leon stood next to him, his face a bit more ashen than normal. His eyes were glued to the ground. Emil didn’t even have to ask when Leon hobbled in every step. His face hurt when the wind brushed it. The dryness and the cold. Like a withering rose.

“You didn’t answer my text last night," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Someone had to initiate the conversation anyway.

“I went to sleep early," Arthur replied. Both knew it was a lie. His bloodshot eyes gave it all away.

“Maybe we should skip class today." Emil glimpsed his watch and suggested. “We’re…way too late by the way.”

Leon winced at that thought. He couldn’t imagine what Arthur would do if he received a call from school that he was playing truant. 

“Leon?” Emil gasped. “Leon? Are you alright?”

That was a silly question.

He mentally slapped himself for even daring to inquire about his well-being. 

“Yea, whatever," Leon murmured, hands in his pockets.

“Do you wanna go back to school?” Emil tugged on the other’s sleeve slightly.

Leon shook his head.

“I want to go home.”

“Oh…uh, okay.” Emil nodded. “Then maybe I should also-”

“Will you come with me?”

“What? To your home?”

“He’s out,” Leon said nonchalantly, hardly parting his lips. They stared at each other for a long, awkward moment before Emil nodded his head.

He followed Leon to his three-story house. The garden was big but untended. Pots scattered all over the corners. The existing plants were either withering or had already wilted. Emil had to admit, indeed, the house was far too large for two. Leon claimed several rooms for himself. He showed Emil his study room, his game room, his art room, his mini-library, his personal storage room etc. They eventually settled in his bedroom, which was decorated with sky-blue wallpapers. It had an enormous wardrobe, a small bed with panda-printed sheet and a tiny desk near the window.

“Do you, like, want tea or juice?”

“Um…either is fine actually.” Emil smiled and ran his fingers over the stuffed teddy sitting on Leon’s bed.

“Okay. I’ll, be, like back in a minute.”

Emil scanned the room curiously. He didn’t know Leon’s family was that well-off. But then again, all these material forms did nothing to bring happiness to Leon’s life. He had tons of toys, game sets, books and clothes, but he could never have a fulfilling family. When he heard whispers from downstairs, Emil popped his head out of the door. Leon was talking on phone to someone. As the brunette returned with a tray of freshly brewed tea and snacks, Emil was glancing at a photo frame. It was a frayed family photo, adorned by faded tear stains. By the deplorable look of it, Emil believed it had been at least creased twice in Leon’s palm.

“That’s, like, totally uncool to look at someone else’s private stuff.” Leon grabbed the picture and crumpled it.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m just kidding." Leon giggled. He creased the picture and tossed it into the bin. Emil stared at the disposed item. His brows furrowed.

“I don’t need it anyway.”

“But Leon…that’s your family photo.”

“I know.” Leon flopped down on one of the beans bags and drank his tea calmly. “So?”

“Are you still sad about….yesterday?”

“A little maybe. If I say ‘no’, you probably won’t believe me.” Leon shrugged, gesturing to the snacks on the tray. “Go on, help yourself, Emil.”

“Do you hate your mum then?”

“For what?”

“For…I don’t know…for abandoning you? Leaving this home? Going out with another guy…”

“Well, do you hate your parents then, Emil,” Leon asked. Emil’s face paled. The boy rubbed his thumbs and shook his head.

“Surprisingly…I don’t,” Emil stuttered with a faint blush. “Even though they left me.”

“I guess…” Leon nodded. His eyes fluttered out of the window. “I don’t think I hate her. She just wants to be happy. Everyone wants to be happy. It isn’t a fault, is it?”

“No…it isn’t. But I still think it is selfish of her to go off living a happy life and you’re stuck here…with your dad.”

“It isn’t always that bad…I think. He gives me whatever I want at least...” Leon stammered, not sure of his stance anymore. Did he want to leave this home? He couldn’t deny having thought of it but he was never absolutely sure what he wanted. Not anymore. Before he saw his mother with another man, he was so certain there was the slightest chance that he might fix this family. But now that he saw how happy she was away from Arthur’s grip, he began to re-think his opportunity. Maybe what he really wanted was for both his parents to be happy.

“Who did you talk to just now?” Emil asked and took a timid bite of the cookie.

“Dad,” Leon answered. “I told him I’m not feeling well.”

“Did he scold you?”

“No, he thinks it’s his fault, so he lets it go.” Leon stood up and walked towards the computer. “Do you need to call home?”

“Nah…they’re…probably not in anyway.”

“Then, shall we play some video games?” Leon smiled.

“Sure.” Emil smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what incited me to write this awful thing. I found it buried in the depth of my Hetalia Fanfic folder. Probably started this a year ago or so. Never bothered to post or continue it. Got three chapters at the moment. Not sure if I should continue this or not. What do you think? This is not the usual type of plot I would go for...If you've read my other fics, you know this one is seriously corrupted (not that others aren't XD) It's somehow more twisted than other pieces. I don't usually write underage (shota) and father-son incest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um, I've decided to continue this, although I have to warn you that this fic contains some serious OOC behaviours and disturbing scenes. I'm sorry for making a few characters villains in this story. If you can't stand some of the themes, I suggest you not read it :S They can get better or worse D:

Emil woke up to the shuffles of footsteps. He sat up in Leon’s bed and rubbed his eyes. They had fallen asleep after playing video games. He nudged his friend. The Asian only ducked deeper into the blanket.

“Leon!” Emil hissed, wondering if he ought to jump out of the window. Considering it was the second floor, he snuggled back into Leon’s blanket and shuddered. The door eventually opened and woke Leon. The boy bounced up and stared at Arthur, who was fortunately sober and in a rather merry mood.

Emil tried to hide behind his friend futilely. Arthur raised his brows, glimpsed the snack packages and game controllers scattering on the floor. He blinked back at his son.

“You have a friend over?” he asked with a smile, leaning against the door.

Leon nodded and slid out of bed to pick up the garbage they left on the ground.

“Care to tell me his name at least?” Arthur stepped into the room and stroked the boy’s hair.

“This is Emil,” Leon mumbled. “We’re in the same class.”

“Hi…er…good…” Emil peeked out of the window, feeling a lump in his throat. “Good evening s-”

“Just call me Arthur.” Arthur walked up to the bed and held out his hand. Emil averted his gaze and reluctantly took it. “Thanks for taking care of my son.”

“Um…” Emil looked away and blushed. “It should be the other way round actually.” He quickly jumped off bed and fidgeted. “I’d better get going by the way.”

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

“No…thanks.” Emil chuckled nervously. “I really…should be going.”

He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

“Well then, maybe next time.” Arthur shrugged.

Emil nodded and scurried towards the door.

“See you, Leon.” He smiled at his friend and left.

Leon continued to tidy up his room. Arthur bent down to help him.

“Are you hungry?”

Leon shook his head and scooted away from his father.

“Are you still feeling unwell?” Arthur asked, distraught. When the boy didn’t answer, he sighed and sat on the floor. “I’m sorry about last night. I drank too much.”

Leon put his game set back into the drawer and said nothing.

“Anything you want to eat tonight?” Arthur asked and caught sight of a creased paper near the bed. He unfolded and read the test paper. “Wow, so brilliant, you didn’t show me this yesterday.”

“I did, but you tossed it away,” Leon muttered and turned to his father. “Remember?”

Arthur frowned. Leon snatched the paper and tore it into pieces. He dumped them into the bin, alongside the crumpled family photo. He forced his tears back and faced his father. “I don’t think Mum is ever coming home, is she?”

Arthur didn’t answer. His eyes glinted. His heart followed the pieces lying at the bottom of the bin.

“Even if I get full marks, she won’t come back, right?” Leon asked.

“Leon…” Arthur bit his lips bleakly.

“Can Emil come again?” Leon wiped his eyes and smiled. “He’s my best friend.”

“Sure, why not.” Arthur smiled back. He got up and hugged the boy. “He can come whenever he wants.”

* * *

Leon never mentioned his mum again. He invited Emil frequently to his place. Emil wasn’t comfortable with Arthur’s presence so he often left when the man returned home. Leon’s house became his temporary shelter, where he could avoid Mathias as much as possible. They would do revision together, read, play games and have tea. It went on for another year or two. The two boys entered the same middle school. Life didn’t change for the better though.

Emil stared at the rubbish stuffed inside his drawer and the paints on his desk. He clenched his fists and forced himself not to cry in front of the class. Boys snickered and laughed. Girls whispered and giggled in disdain. He touched the paint with his index finger. It was fresh crimson. Like blood. The word “RETARD” was engraved on the desk. Tears slipped out of his eyes. He trembled. The entire class burst into laughter.

“What the fuck is wrong with you people?” Leon stomped up towards Emil and kicked over the desk. The filthy contents inside the drawer sputtered to the ground.

“I’m reporting this.” Leon scowled and clasped Emil’s wrist. They stormed out of the classroom and called the teacher. The teacher scolded the class and punished a couple of the boys responsible for the prank. Emil couldn’t stop crying when he found the note book he had painstakingly worked on for nearly two months ripped and burnt into ashes, his favourite pencil case cut into half and the panda key chain Leon gave him broken.

No one talked to them. Emil’s disorder got worse as he grew older. His brother didn’t have time to look after him, let alone consult any medical help. Leon helped with his studies most of the time, but he would still fail certain subjects. Sometimes, when the two boys grew tired of telling on their classmates, they simply skipped the class.

When the first bang came on the door, Emil ignored it and concentrated on the hot water rinsing his body. They had just finished gym at school and were showering. The second bang convinced him something was wrong. He gasped and opened the door. His clothes were gone. He looked around in perplexity. The room was empty. The shower in the room opposite his was still running.

“L-Leon?” Emil stuttered.

Leon heard his friend and turned off the tap. He peeked out of the door and widened his eyes. His clothes, too, were stolen.

“Damn it.”

Emil began to panic. The boys showed up in no time and kicked open their doors. They dragged them towards the middle of the room.

“Stop!” they cried and struggled. The gang hauled them across the floor and shoved them towards each other.

They lay on the floor hugging their naked body. They couldn’t even spare a second to protest when cameras were brought out and the gang started snapping photos of them.

“What are you doing!” Leon hollered with angry tears. He attempted to snatch one of their phones but got shoved back to the ground.

“Had fun telling on us, didn’t you?”

One of them laughed.

“Disgusting faggots.”

“We’ve had enough of you two in our class. Just go die already.”

“You won’t get away with this!” Leon yelped. Emil curled up to cover his body.

“You’re always defending him! Is he your bitch or something?”

Tears trickled down his face. Emil grabbed one of his classmates and punched him.

“Fuck you!”

He landed on the floor next to Leon. They both got yanked up by their hair, their faces smashed against each other. Their lips touched. The flashing lights never ended.

They were left panting on the ground with tears and bruises. Their lips were swollen from the forced kisses. Leon’s nose started bleeding when their faces slapped against each other.

 _“We’ll be expecting 200 bucks tomorrow,”_ was the last thing they heard, _“unless you want these photos to go online.”_

Emil propped himself up and grabbed the towels. He wrapped one around his body and covered Leon with another one. Leon held up his nose and winced.

“What should we do now?” Emil sobbed.

Leon grunted and leaned against the wall.

“Do we even have a choice?”

* * *

Emil rummaged in the drawer and pulled out a purse. He flipped it open and counted the notes. He slipped a hundred dollars into his pocket and turned around. He froze.

“Ah ha, when have you started learning to steal stuff?” Mathias cocked his brows and strutted towards him.

Emil gasped and tumbled back.

“Mathias…I…”

“Haven’t you heard ‘never take what isn’t yours’?” Mathias folded his arms and grinned slyly. He cornered the shorter boy and tilted his head, “And I suppose that is my money you’re stealing?”

“S-Sorry…I…I didn’t mean to…” Emil shivered and dug into his pocket.

“No, no, no, keep it.” Mathias laughed. “I appreciate your guts.”

“I really do need this money, please…” Emil pleaded, eyes welling up with tears. “Don’t tell Lukas…”

“Nah, I’ll have to think about that.” Mathias snickered and glanced down at the weeping boy. He lifted his chin and leaned in to peck at those quivering lips.

“Did you kiss someone today?” Mathias asked in amusement, tracing his fingers on the swollen flesh.

Emil blushed and looked at the wall.

“You naughty boy.” The whisper made him shiver. “And guess what? Naughty kids do get their punishment.”

Emil winced at the sharp pain in his wrists. The man flung him onto the bed and pinned him down. He bit his lips forcibly drawing a thin line of blood. Emil whimpered. His school cardigan came off swiftly. Mathias ripped open his shirt and grabbed onto his bare chest. His tongue worked along his neck greedily. The boy moaned and wiggled, but the man was heavy above him. Mathias withdrew from his nape and licked his lip.

“Stop crying.” His voice was hoarse and accusing. “It’s not your first time with me anyway. You should’ve got used to it.”

Emil turned away and shut his eyes. The teeth were all over his shoulder blades again. He groaned. He imagined the nimble fingers touching him sensually belonged to Leon’s. It was a reprehensible imagination, indeed. Yet, if he had to be taken by someone, he would hope it was Leon.

The blond tugged down Emil’s pants and turned over his body. He soaked his fingers with lube and started preparing him. Emil squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the pillow. The image of Leon got more lucid in his head. Those dark locks. Sleek. Soft. Aromatic. Those brown eyes. Round. Beautiful. Penetrating. Those lips. Shit! What was he thinking?!

He moaned as the digits were plucked out. In replacement, his hole was filled with Mathias’ shaft. He grasped the sheets and shook his head. No, this couldn’t be real. It wasn’t Mathias. It was Leon. He wished it was.

The sex was graceless and tormenting as usual. Mathias came twice in him. He was left lying in a heap of sweat. The pain lingered. His palm bled from his own nails. He wheezed.

The phone rang. Probably Lukas calling home to check on them. Mathias rolled off his body and quickly dressed himself. Emil barely sat up and reached for his own phone. He scrolled down his contact list and paused at Leon’s name. But he never called him.

* * *

Leon stared at the ceiling and let the pleasure take over his body. He felt low. Foolish. Indecent. But he needed it so bad. The money.

Arthur’s touches danced across his body. The man inquired about his bruises. He shrugged them off and lied that he had tripped on the stairs. Over the years, he had gotten used to sex. He didn’t realise it was called “sex” at first and thought Arthur was playing a weird game with him. When he eventually learnt from the biology class at school, that it should be meant for a boy and a girl who were in love, he surprisingly felt nothing. Nothing at all.

Arthur’s arms wrapped around him and lifted him up. He nestled on the man’s shoulder idly and spread his legs for him. He closed his eyes and in the midst of darkness, there was another face. Arthur’s whispers echoed. He moaned when the man stretched him with his fingers. His lips burned. Emil’s lips. They felt nice. Soft. Sweet. Unlike Arthur’s. Bitter. Of cigarettes and liquor. He tossed his head back and covered his eyes with his hands. No, he shouldn’t be crying. But Emil’s sobbing face kept popping up. His best friend. His alter-ego. His lov… Wait! What was that? His vision blurred. Stars blinded him. He moaned out loud when Arthur hit that spot repeatedly. He curled his toes and panted. Like a woman. Like a slut. He imagined the hand stroking his length was someone else’s. He wished the teeth grazing across his skin were not Arthur’s. He wished that it had been…been…Emil?

“Emil,” he whispered. Almost inaudibly.

Arthur stopped and frowned.

The boy gasped and nearly lost his heartbeat.

“Did you say something?”

Leon shook his head and burrowed his face into the man’s chest.

When he closed his eyes again, Emil was there. Lying beside him. Sometimes, hovering above him. Their lips inches apart.

He waited until Arthur dozed off. He dragged himself out of bed and searched his father’s wallet. He took out a hundred dollars and walked back into his bedroom.

He texted Emil but got no answer.


	5. Chapter 5

“Delete them,” Leon threatened, holding up a blade to his classmate’s throat. The other two boys glared in silence. Emil stood beside Leon with his own cutter.

“We want no traces of them,” the Icelandic boy growled. “If any one of those pictures leaks out, we’ll kill you and we mean it.”

“We’re not afraid to get prosecuted. Go ahead and tell on us to the teachers if you want. Or go back crying to your goddamn parents. We don’t give a damn.” Leon laughed.

“Fine.” The boy snorted and took out his phone. He gestured his two side-kicks to take out theirs. Leon and Emil watched them delete everything in the gadgets.

The gang left the changing room without another word.

Leon tugged his knife back into his pocket and smiled at Emil.

“How did you even come up with that?” Emil chuckled. “Oh gosh, did you see their faces? They actually freaked out.”

“Trust me, they only know how to talk big.” Leon winked and slumped down on the bench. “Sorry you have to go through that.”

“No, I should thank you.” Emil blushed and sat down next to his friend. He slid his hands into his pockets and took out the notes. “You know…I actually bought the money. How silly.”

“Me too.” Leon laughed. “But then, I came up with this sudden idea.”

“I hope they don’t have any back-ups.”

“What kind of a sickening bastard keeps naked photos of other males?” Leon scowled, “and to think that they call us disgusting faggots, they are way more nauseating.”

“True.” Emil nodded.

“Are you okay?”

Emil flinched. His face reddened when Leon touched the bruise on his neck.

“Is that…a hickey?” Leon frowned.

Emil glanced at the ground and covered his neck with his collar.

“Emil, what happened?” Leon scooted closer to his friend. He had never seen Emil this apprehensive before. He looked like he could lose it any second.

“I…I stole his money…” The Icelandic boy stuttered, “He found out.”

“And he did this to you?” Leon stood up and rolled up Emil’s sleeves to reveal the pink rings around the wrists.

“What about you?” Emil retorted, “Didn’t you get into trouble asking **_him_** for money?”

Leon sighed and looked out of the window.

“Hey,” Emil stood up and strode towards the other boy. He gripped his shoulders and turned him around. He leant in and connected their lips.

Leon didn’t stir. Emil closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. As expected, they felt like marshmallow. Leon’s hair smelled of peach blossoms. The fragrance was tantalising.

“What…was that,” Leon gasped. His cheeks burned.

“You don’t like it?”

“I like it.” Leon stifled a giggle.

“Let’s skive off.” Emil laughed.

The blade shone in the sun, reflecting his own dull eyes. Emil shifted slightly on the swing. The cut drew blood on the back of Leon’s wrist.

“The kids might see us,” Emil muttered. He had to admit, though, it was tempting.

“Nah, there’re still a few hours before they’re off school.” Leon looked around the empty park and shrugged. His eyes focused back to the craft he was making on his hand. “You know you can actually carve a name. And if it leaves scars, maybe it looks like a tattoo?”

Emil blinked at the crimson traces on his friend’s wrist and stared at his own cutter.

“Wouldn’t he find out?” Emil asked.

“Who?” Leon raised his brows. The blade delved deep into his flesh, carving an “i”. Emil couldn’t help glimpsing his own name. Freshly written. Etched on Leon's skin.

“Your dad.”

“He doesn’t come to me that often now,” Leon said. “He’s cut down on his drinking and,” The boy paused and scratched his head. “I wonder if it’s because I’ve grown.”

“What?”

“I’ve grown taller. I look more like a guy now. It turns him off, probably.”

“Wait.” Emil frowned and spun towards the other boy. “You mean all this time he’s just treating you as your mum’s substitute?”

“I used to look more like her when I was a kid.” Leon nodded, squinting at the cloudless sky.

“I hate him,” Emil piped up. Leon glanced at him quizzically. “For doing stuff like that to you.”

“Have you-” Leon mused and put down his blade. The last letter was finished elegantly. He wiped off the blood and admired his work. Now Emil would always be with him. He could look at his name when Arthur was holding his body. “Ever found it pleasuring when you did it with Mathias?”

“What?”

“Sorry, let me rephrase it.” Leon coughed and looked Emil in the eyes. “You ever experienced that moment when your body felt great even though you knew it was so wrong?”

 “Yes.” Emil blushed, staring at the half-complete name of his friend. “But I still don’t like it.”

“So dirty,” Leon mumbled. “It, like, makes me feel so dirty.”

“Aren’t we?” Emil grabbed the other boy’s wrist and brought his lips to the slits. Fresh. Iron. Captivating. Leon winced when Emil’s tongue glided across his wounds. It stung.

“I hope it leaves scars.” Emil smirked. “The permanent kind.”

Leon laughed. “So everyone will know you’re my best friend?”

“Better still, let your dad see it.” Emil smiled.

“He’ll be, like, so mad.”

“That gives you more reasons to run away then.”

“Actually, it’s not at all impossible.” Leon pointed to the mountain in the woods. “My granny used to live in there. Had a cabin or something. She passed away years ago and I think the cabin is still there.”

“You think we can live there?” Emil laughed.

“Dad has the keys though.” Leon rubbed his chin contemplatively. “Let me see…we can get there by bus. Take a couple of hours. If we decide to go there on a bike or on foot, probably take a day. It’s fun nonetheless. We can, like, go camping.”

“Great,” Emil stood up and stretched his arms. The name "Leon" glimmered on his wrist. “Fancy something to eat?”

“Like, something sweet?” Leon perked up.

* * *

They ordered two large sundaes. Emil scooped up a cherry and chewed it. It felt cold against his gum. The chocolate juice dribbled down the coffee ice-cream. Beside him, Leon was licking the whipped cream. It didn’t help when some toppings adhered to the corners of his mouth. Emil leant in and pecked at those alluring lips. Leon stiffened but basked in the sweetness of his friend’s tongue. They both jumped when a hand slapped the table.

“What on earth are you doing?”

Emil gasped. Leon glared at the man with spiky blond hair and drooping blue eyes.

“The school called.” Mathias narrowed his eyes in exasperation. “They said you were playing truant. And look what you’re doing.”

“It’s none of your business,” Emil replied coldly and leaned back against the seat.

“Come with me.” Mathis clutched Emil's wrist. Leon stood up and smacked away his hand.

“Don’t touch Emil,” the boy growled.

“And who are you, may I ask?” Mathias glared down at Leon, fists clenched.

“Ah wait, you’re wearing the same uniform.” Mathias smirked. “Should I tell the school that you’re harassing my little brother?”

“I’m not your brother,” Emil muttered and scooted behind Leon.

“His boyfriend,” Leon suddenly said.

“What?”

“I said,” Leon repeated, his voice low and coarse, “I’m his boyfriend. Don’t touch him again.”

Mathias stared at the boy, his mouth agape. After a moment of stunned silence, he laughed and ran his fingers over his messy locks.

“Brilliant.” He snickered with tears and clapped. “So you found someone to shield you, eh? You think you can get away with this?”

Emil frowned. Tears surfaced his eyes but he swallowed them.

“Wait till I tell Lukas about this,” Mathias snarled. “You’re drop dead.”

The blond turned and stomped out of the restaurant.

The boy eventually broke down in silent tears and covered his face. Leon sat back down and wrapped his arms around the trembling body.

When he got home, his father was already at the dining table. Arthur glared up from his phone. Leon looked away and headed to the stairs.

“Stay where you are,” Arthur bawled.

Leon halted, puckered his lips and chucked away his bag. He jammed his hands into his pockets and stared languidly at Arthur.

“What’s it now, Dad?”

“Explain why you weren’t at school today.” Arthur stood up and walked towards the boy. “Why did you wander off when you ought to be having lessons! And why did someone complain to me that you were kissing a boy in board day light and inside a café!”

“Is that someone named ‘Mathias’?”

“Answer my questions!”

Leon hushed and tried to avoid Arthur’s gaze.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” The man turned his son’s face roughly.

“Tsk, ’cause I hate it.” Leon shrugged. “I hate school, okay?”

“This doesn’t give you a reason to skive off!”

“I will pass the exams just fine. I don’t want to sit with a bunch of idiots-”

**_SMACK!_ **

“Mind your attitudes!”

Leon rubbed his cheek and glared back at the man.

“They don’t welcome us. So why should we still go there?”

“I don’t want to get any more calls from school or from someone who claimed that you’re harassing his brother. Get it?”

“I wasn’t harassing him! We kissed-” Leon paused. His lips curved slightly upwards. He raised his voice and stressed, “CONSENSUALLY.”

The punch rendered him panting on the ground. Blood filled his gum. Tears stung his bruised cheek. He coughed and propped himself up with his elbows.

“This is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard,” Arthur shook his head indignantly. “You’re not allowed to date anyone, let alone a boy! Go back to school tomorrow and be a good student! If I receive any more complaints, you’re grounded! You’re not going to see him ever again!”

Leon stood up from the ground and dashed upstairs. He stomped back to his room and slammed the door. Tears poured down his face. He bit his tongue, refusing to let his cries be heard.

* * *

Emil kept his head down and typed with difficulty. The phone was snatched away abruptly. Lukas stared at the unfinished text and back at his brother. Emil averted his gaze and shuddered.

“Leon,” Lukas mumbled. “Is that him?”

“Aw man, that boy actually threatened me! Can you believe that?” Mathias exclaimed, “He freaking threatened me! And he was harassing Emil in board day light!”

“He wasn’t harassing me!” Emil cried and grabbed his phone back.

“Your boyfriend, eh?” Lukas tilted his head and frowned. “I don’t like how this is going. Stay away from him.”

“What?”

Lukas walked back to his seat and sat down. “I don’t like how you’re always texting him when we are having dinner. Hanging out with him after school. Skiving off and breaking school rules. He’s a bad influence on you.”

“Lukas!”

“Yea, that kid is a delinquent. I’m damn sure. He must have been manipulating you. The next thing you know, he might even trick you into taking drugs or something!” Mathias yelled.

“Shut up!” Emil cried, “Leon is a good guy, unlike **_someone_**!”

“It’s for your own sake.” Lukas sighed. “I want you to concentrate on your studies. Stick to the rules. Don’t get into trouble. You don’t have to date someone this early.”

“I know what I’m doing!” Emil stood up and slammed the table. “I’m free to do what I want!”

“I’m still your guardian,” Lukas reminded. “When the school calls, they are blaming it on me. I have responsibilities to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m not alright. I never am!” Emil shook his head. “Why don’t you just kick me out of the house? I’ll be fine straying in the street!”

“Sit down, Emil!” Lukas hollered.

“Sit and eat your dinner,” Mathias echoed.

Emil glared at the blond and flopped back down. Tears blended with his meal.

* * *

“You think this helps to keep me off?” Mathias teased as he held up Emil’s wrist and examined the name engrained on it. “What does that even mean?”

Emil shuddered and glimpsed the door.

“Lukas has a shift tonight. He won’t be coming back until morning.” Mathias sneered into the boy’s ear. “If you like pain that much, we can play rougher.”

“No…” Emil squirmed underneath the bigger body. He glanced at the blond imploringly. “I don’t…want to do it tonight…”

“You were kissing another boy just this afternoon. Not to mention he acted so hostile. Geez, you sure as hell know how to piss me off.” Mathias neglected the protests and bit the neck hard. Emil blurted out a moan.

“You think he can stop me?” The blond snickered. Emil felt sick. He shut his eyes and shook his head.

“Well, tell you what, stop messing around behind my back because you won’t succeed. Never will.” The blond leant down and unbuttoned Emil’s shirt. “Keep dreaming. It might help though.”

The blond ground their bodies together. Emil groaned. Mathias moved downwards and clutched the bulge. “And I’m sure he can’t make you moan like this.” He smirked before taking the length into his mouth.

His phone vibrated on the nightstand. Emil reached out his hand but Mathias beat him to it. He swiped open the screen. Emil’s eyes widened.

“Emil’s a bit occupied at the moment.” Mathias peeked at Emil’s naked body with an artful grin. “If you know what I mean.”

“No, give it back!” Emil cried and snatched the phone. The line went dead.

“So, does your little boyfriend even know that you’re mine?” Mathias licked his lips in anticipation and unbuckled his belt.

“Why…would you do that!” Emil whimpered.

“No, no, you better work harder than that.” Mathias laughed and wiped the tears with his thumbs. “You know I don’t fall for crying.”

“You sicken me,” Emil growled and slapped his hands.

“Nah, that’s even worse.” Mathias shoved the boy down and stripped himself. “You used to be more obedient when you were younger. Guess at some point I missed training you for that part.”

“S-St-Stop it.”

The blond ignored his words and lowered his head between Emil’s legs. He took the length once more and sucked it. The boy moaned uncontrollably, his fingers in Mathias’ hair.

And Leon was right. It felt absolutely dirty to be enjoying this. The pleasure burst in his body. He sweated. Tears never stopped. He covered his eyes and dreamt.

The blond wiped the cum off his lips and hoisted the thighs up. He plunged his fingers into the hole and scissored them, striking that particular spot incessantly. Emil arched his back and moaned louder, refusing to open his eyes. Mathias pulled out his digits and positioned himself at the entrance. With a fluid slid, he thrust into the boy. He thrust and thrust until all that reverberated in the room were Emil’s cries.

“Open your eyes,” Mathias commanded.

Emil shook his head. The blond pinned his wrists above his head and thrust harder, causing the smaller body to tremble. He shoved himself into Emil hard. The boy eventually yelped and snapped open his eyes. The dream shattered and faded. The face above him was real and clear. It belonged to none other than Mathias. No matter how hard he tried to wipe that smug expression off his mind and replace it with Leon’s soothing face, he couldn’t.

Mathias wrapped the legs around his waist. The tight walls squeezed around his shaft. He grunted. It felt marvellous. To be exploiting this body. To be hearing these moans. He could never get enough of it.

“And don’t think that you can tell on me.” Mathias giggled. “Lukas would think you seduce me.”

“I hate you- ah!” Emil moaned as Mathias came in him. He released himself in Mathias’ hand. His limbs fell numbly. Haze enveloped him.

“I know you do, little mouse.” Mathias laughed and pulled out. The fluid seeped down the boy’s thighs.

Emil grunted and lay flatly on the mattress, wondering when his nightmare would meet the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the timeline is a bit messed up. So, I might explain a bit here. In chapter 1, Leon is 10 when his parents get divorced. Then, in chapters 2 and 3, he and Emil are 12. In the later chapters, they are middle schoolers so they are both around 13 to 14. I need some insights by the way. So if you have any suggestions on how the plot should go, feel free to comment :) It would also help if you tell me what you think of the plot so far :3


	6. Chapter 6

“Leon.”

Arthur knocked on the door.

The boy quickly put away his phone and flipped open his books.

“The door isn’t locked,” he replied monotonously. He picked up a highlight pen and pretended to be studying. There were two weeks left before his end-of-semester test. He would be free from school then.

In fact, he didn’t want to return to that awful place ever again.

Arthur opened the door and popped his head in. “Don’t worry, I’m not drunk," he smiled faintly and stepped into the room.

Leon didn’t say a word. True the man had quit drinking a while ago. He also seemed to become more cheerful and approachable lately. More importantly, he hadn’t been touching the boy.

“Oh, I see you’re doing revision…good…” Arthur chuckled and slumped down on a bean bag. “Need any help?”

“No.” Leon skimmed the page and turned it over. _Boring._ He muttered in his mind and rolled his eyes.

“Well…um…you know it’s been a while since we last chatted.” Arthur scratched the back of his head and smiled. “I’m wondering what you would like for your birthday next week.”

Leon blinked and put down his highlight pen.

“You do realise that your birthday is coming, right?”

The boy spun around in his chair and nodded.

“Nothing special.”

“I know it’s my bad for forgetting your birthday last year…and the year before…” Arthur bit his bottom lip in guilt. “The past few years have been a tough time for me. And I upset you a lot. But everything will be fine from now on. I’ve got a big promotion.” The man grinned mirthfully at his son. “Just name what you want.”

“I don’t really have anything on my mind,” Leon replied plainly. “It doesn’t matter you remember my birthday or not. I don’t need to celebrate it.”

“Please don’t say that.” Arthur’s smile faded. He sighed. “I know you hate me profusely for what I’ve done. I’m sorry. Truly sorry. I’m a horrible parent, I know. I really wish I had had more control of myself.”

“I don’t hate you,” the boy muttered. “And I’m honest. I don’t need anything.”

“I’ll still pick you a present.” Arthur smiled and stood up. “We’ll go out for a buffet dinner, have a cake, or throw you a party.”

“Whatever.” Leon shrugged and returned to his textbook.

“How’s school?” his father asked.

Leon didn’t turn. He rolled down the sleeves reflexively to cover the bruises on his hands. School had never been better. It was a hell for him and Emil every day. They had no one to turn to. They couldn’t simply skip classes without getting reprimanded. They had lost a couple of things. It started off with stationeries, then textbooks, notebooks, trinkets and eventually money or lunchboxes. They got new messages in their locker every morning. They came in all sorts of creative forms. Paper balls. Rubbish. Paints. Glue. They had a list of insulting nicknames. They had long grown tired of complaining. When things got too far, they engaged in fights. They wouldn’t even cry now when they got beaten into a pulp.

“Good,” Leon lied.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Arthur asked.

 _Of course, nothing is okay._ He couldn’t say it though.

“Yes.” The boy nodded.

“By the way, I want you to meet someone tomorrow.” Arthur grinned. “I’m sure you’ll like her.”

The woman was about Arthur’s age. Early thirties. A blonde. Elegant curls were tied into a stylish knot. Her features were prominent. Large blue eyes. A well-structured nose. Plump lips. Gorgeous. She wore a purple dress suit, the cleavage showing in her deep-V blouse. Her heels screeched on the tiled floor.

“Bonjour! I’m your father’s secretary. My, my! What an adorable boy you're!" Leon blinked at the lady. He couldn’t dodge fast enough when she stroked his hair and pinched his cheek. She smelled of strong lavender perfume. She bent down to his eye level and smiled sweetly. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you, mon cher.”

Leon dropped his jaw and glimpsed his father, who only responded with a laugh and led the woman to their dining room.

“What does that mean?” Leon muttered to himself and frowned.

The dinner was awkward and, in Leon’s opinion, uncanny. He might be too young to figure out the details but the two adults were quite obviously flirting with each other. It was the first time Arthur ever had any interactions with a woman in front of him. Since the divorce.

The lady named Francine asked him a couple of questions before diverting her attention back to Arthur. Leon kept staring at his plate, not sure what to make of the situation. He had to admit, though, she was quite a refined and charming woman.

Francine started appearing regularly at their house. She either showed up with Arthur in the evening or on holidays. Sometimes, at the weekends, she would bring her homemade snacks and French cuisine, which was actually a delightful deed. Leon would rather eat her food than tolerate Arthur’s poisonous cooking.

“You know I have two sons around your age.” She giggled and ruffled his hair. “You should get acquainted some day!”

Leon didn’t realise what it meant at first, but when he received a exquisite gift from the woman on his fourteenth birthday, he was quite certain something was going on.

He opened his presents. Arthur bought him a new video game. The woman got him a new set of branded clothes. That night, when Arthur left the house to walk her back to the car, Leon caught them kissing. The boy peeked through the curtains. His father wrapped an arm around the woman’s waist. Their lips smashed against each other.

Leon walked away from the window and back to his room. He stared at the gift boxes, an inconceivable feeling welling in his heart.

* * *

The teasing went on at school. It got better at some point after they threatened those boys in the changing room. Leon and Emil would ignore others’ comments. They continued to hang out with each other.

“This is for you.” Emil smiled and handed Leon a present. “Happy Birthday, Leon.” They sat down under a tree behind the school building. Leon unwrapped the box and found a ring.

“It’s a trinket.”

“I like it,” Leon said and immediately put it on. It had his name ingrained on it.

“Maybe one day I can get you a real one.” Emil chuckled. “When I have money.”

“Can I, like, get a birthday kiss at least?” Leon joked, but was soon met with Emil’s soft lips.

“Is everything okay at home?” Emil withdrew from the other boy and grabbed his hand.

“We talked.” Leon stared ahead. “He said he wouldn’t do anything to me again. He’s dating his secretary.”

“What?”

“And I don’t know what to feel.” Leon laughed.

“That’s ridiculous!” Emil frowned. “How could he…I mean…after everything he’s done to you and now he’s off…off with another woman? Seriously?”

“I think that means he’s finally got over my mum.” Leon turned to face Emil. “I kinda get it now. I’m like her doppelganger. He must have seen me that way after she left.”

“And how could you even forgive him?” Emil growled and clenched his fists. “I know I’ll never forgive Mathias. Like ever.”

“You know-” Leon paused and caressed his partner’s cheeks. “Sometimes, I think of taking you away from him.”

“Please do.” Emil nestled his head against the other’s shoulder. “I can’t wait to run off with you.”

“Is he still touching you?”

“Seldom now,” Emil murmured, burrowing his face into Leon’s cardigan. “Their relationship is getting better. Lukas isn’t neglecting him as much as before. When he’s happy, he doesn’t bother me much.”

Leon nodded and returned the hug.

* * *

The twins were around his age. Both had blond hair and wore glasses. The one named Alfred had a cowlick sticking up on his forehead. Always grinning goofily and carrying junk food around him. Claiming himself to be the hero. The other one was called Matthew. Timid. Reserved. Unlike his obnoxious, talkative brother. He had a curl sticking out of his head. Always carrying a stuffed polar bear around as if it was his soul mate. His eyes were shades of amethyst. Bizarre, but beautiful.

In their first encounter, Alfred gave Leon a bear hug that nearly choked him. The boy widened his eyes and stumbled back before meeting Alfred’s exceptionally wide grin. The other twin took tiny steps forward and held out his trembling hand. Leon took it and patted the polar bear. Alfred barged into the house and whooped. Dancing around every furniture and teasing the old paintings on the walls. Matthew followed into the room sheepishly. Arthur and Francine were smiling.

“This house is so big!” Alfred exclaimed, already running upstairs to explore the rooms.

“Stop messing around!” Francine shouted, “And don’t break anything, Alfred!”

“Mama, may I go to the washroom?” Matthew asked anxiously.

“Of course, mon petit chou!” Francine took her son’s hand and guided him to the washroom.

Leon blinked incredulously at the peculiar family and stared back at his father.

“So, what do you think?”

“What…do you mean?”

“Think you lads can get along and be some good friends?” Arthur beamed, hands on his hips.

“They’re okay…I guess…”

“Yay! I’m gonna get the biggest room, ain’t I?” Alfred plodded downstairs and shot his fist in the air.

“Alfred!” Francine rushed out from the hallway and shushed the boy.

“It’s okay.” Arthur laughed. “I like loud kids.”

That statement made Leon frown even deeper.

The visit was only the beginning. For the next few months, Francine and the twins came over frequently. Leon didn’t exactly mind much. He either slipped away to do his own stuff or hang out with Emil. It was actually a relief to see Arthur’s mood getting better and better each passing day. The man abstained from drinking and all his past unhealthy habits. He became someone Leon couldn’t recognise from the past five years of living with him alone. It didn’t take him long to accept the truth that Arthur was, indisputably and thoroughly, in love again.

Not with his mother. But another woman.

It sounded reasonable. Both were single parents. Both were divorced. Both worked for the same company. They hit it off when he got promoted and she became his personal secretary. They went out a couple of times and discovered that they were actually high school classmates.

The twins’ laughter filled the house. Their smiles, their moves. Arthur revelled in them all. In contrast, Leon was seldom home. He stayed out most of the time. At school. The park. Café. Library. Anywhere else he could be with Emil.

His heart ached every time he spotted a blemish on Emil’s skin. He imagined holding a knife up to Mathias’ throat and threatening him to stop harassing Emil. _Oh, his dear Emil._

The boys considered moving out when they reached high school, but the possibility remained low. They had no money. No place to stay. They would need to work.

* * *

“H-Here, this…is for you…” the blond stuttered.

Leon stared at Matthew and took the maple-shaped key chain from him.

“You like maple leaves a lot, don’t you?” Leon smiled and put it into his drawer.

“I like their colour,” Matthew mumbled. His arms squeezed around the bear tightly.

“In that case, you should try this out.” Leon dug under his bed and pulled out a box of firecrackers.

“What are they?”

“Firecrackers.” Leon tossed one at Matthew. “You ever wonder how to shut your brother up?”

“Uh, I wish I knew how to, but usually he’s the one who shuts me up…” Matthew lowered his head and fiddled with his fingers.

“Try one. Light it behind Alfred’s back. And watch the show.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Leon nodded.

The blond grabbed a firecracker and scrambled downstairs. Ten minutes later, a loud explosion was heard, followed by Alfred’s whines.

“It worked! It worked!” Matthew came running back into Leon’s room and clapped. His face was masked by soot and dust. Leon burst into laughter.

“So, you think, like, they are gonna get married?” Leon asked.

Matthew wiped the soot off his face and shrugged. “Maybe…mama did say we’re moving in.”

“I see.” Leon nodded and lay down on his bed.

“Mattie! How dare you prank me!” Alfred booted open the door and whined. He tackled his twin on the floor and they started rolling in playful fights.

“What’s going on?” Arthur gasped. “Oh not again!” Francine giggled. They separated the twins and laughed.

Leon stiffened on the spot. He watched them laugh and cuddle like a family. A real family.


	7. Chapter 7

“You’ve grown so much aru.” Chun Yan smiled and stroked the boy’s cheeks. Leon took a bite of the fried noodles. His mother’s warm fingers brushed along his hair, his forehead, his jaw…

“And I miss you,” she confessed. They were sitting in her restaurant. She opened it two years ago. A traditional Chinese tea house. It got popular in no time with her distinguished cooking.

“I’m sorry for not going to see you. I’ve been so, so busy.” Chun Yan sighed and caressed the bump on her belly.

Leon stayed mute.

“How’re you doing?” Chun Yan perked up.

“Fine,” Leon shrugged and tried not to peek at his mother’s bulged tummy. A pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. She yelped, “Aiyah, stop sneaking up on me!”

“There you are, my little sunflower~ I’ve been looking all over for you!” Ivan giggled and slid next to his wife. He hugged and kissed her on the cheek. Chun Yan blushed and pushed him away. “Can’t you see I’m talking to Jia Long?”

Ivan glimpsed the boy and nodded with a smile. “Oh privet! Haven’t seen you in long time! You’ve grown so much taller than I last saw you~”

“Ivan, go serve the customers aru! Stop messing around,” Chun Yan urged and shoved her husband off the seat.

“Da~ I’ll be right back. Just order whatever you want!” Ivan winked at Leon and strode away.

“I’m sorry about that.” Chun Yan giggled.

“Is it coming out soon?” Leon asked bluntly. “The baby.”

“Oh…um…” The woman blushed and stared down at her belly. “Ha ha, yes, in a month or so, you’ll get to see your little sister!”

Leon took a big swig of the milk tea. The coldness was pacifying.

“Dad’s getting married,” Leon said.

“Is that so?” The woman smiled. “I’m glad he’s finally getting over it. Is she a kind lady?”

“Yes.” Leon finished his noodles and wiped his mouth. “And I’ll get two new brothers.”

“Wonderful!” Chun Yan grinned and grabbed her son’s hand. “Look, Jia Long, I wish for nothing but you to be happy. Your father and I are the past. I know our divorce scarred you. It’s our fault. We messed things up. We couldn’t fix it. But remember, we’re always there with you. We might not live together like before but we’re still a family.”

Leon laughed.

_A family!_

“Leon, is everything alright?”

“Can’t be better, Mum.” Leon ceased laughing and stared solemnly at his mother. “Thanks for inviting me over. I’ll get going now.”

“Long, come visit me more often. We always welcome you here.”

“I’ll see.” Leon nodded and took his bag with him. He ran out of the store without turning back.

“A family?” Leon glanced up at the sky and laughed. Tears filled his eyes. “I have no family. The family I knew was gone long ago.”

* * *

Emil covered his ears, but it didn’t help to keep the sound off. Their moans resounded in the next room. Mathias voices. Lukas’ voices. He sank deeper into his bed and plugged in his headphones. He turned on the volume and ignored the vulgar groans.

His mind drifted. It floated. It fell. Out of place. Nowhere.

“What am I doing?”

He frowned. Rolled off bed. Took his phone with him. Walked out of the room.

He stopped in front of their bedroom. The door left a crack enough for him to see their wiggling bodies, tangled with each other. Mutters of love and sweet promises. Mathias’ blissful face. Lukas’ moans of ecstasy. They were finally getting to it.

He ought to be pleased. Mathias would eventually leave him alone.

He ought to be.

But he wasn’t.

His hands trembled. He ran back into his room and locked the door. He threw the blanket on. He needed to sleep.

* * *

The semester ended. Summer came. Blossoms in the wind. The sky was always blue. Not a single cloud. Green leaves. Cicada. Ice-cream.

They spent their last school day on the rooftop. A bird flew past them. Leon clung to the railing and peered down. The mountain glittered in the sun.

“They went off to the fun fair,” Leon said to no one in particular.

“Why didn’t you tag along?” Emil asked and leant against the railing.

“I wouldn’t fit in, would I?” Leon snickered, his voice quavering. The bangs hid his tears.

He could imagine the scene. Alfred dragging Matthew to the rides. Matthew refusing to try the roller coaster and going to the game booth. Arthur giving his best shots and winning toys for them. Francine taking out her camera and snapping photos of the family.

“They look so happy for a second I actually feel envious.” Leon frowned. “But I know it’s wrong to feel that way. Francine is nice. Alfred is loud but cheerful. Matthew is caring. And they’re able to achieve something I’ve never been able to. Dad smiles. He looks so blissful.”

“That’s not right…” Emil shook his head and gripped Leon’s hand. “He doesn’t deserve it! This sounds all wrong!”

“And my mum’s pregnant. I’m gonna have a sister,” Leon chuckled and squeezed Emil’s hand. “in addition to two step-brothers.”

“Leon...” Emil paused and stared at those tears that never fell down Leon’s face.

“I bumped into her in the street. We haven’t seen each other for two whole years. Can you believe that?” Leon laughed. "She's opened a restaurant with that guy. He treats her so well. She never sheds another tear now."

“You still have me,” Emil sobbed and embraced the other boy. 

“Last night, he asked me what I think of having a new mother,” Leon mumbled. “I said as long as he’s happy, I’ll be fine. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”

“Why are you still being so considerate to him? I don’t get it.” Emil wiped off his own tears and stared painfully at Leon.

“Then why didn’t you tell on Mathias?” Leon retorted, “You knew well if you spat out the truth, Lukas would have believed you more than him.”

Emil didn’t answer.

“Aren’t both fools?” Leon tittered and kissed Emil. 

The Icelandic boy widened his eyes. The kiss was reassuring and salty. Blended with his and Leon’s tears.

“I’m so damn fed up with this life,” Leon whispered as he buried his face in Emil’s shoulder.

“We don’t belong anywhere.”

“Maybe we do, if we look for that place ourselves.”

* * *

They packed everything. Not that there was much to take with them. Leon zipped his bag. It was dark out there. He glimpsed the clock. He checked his drawer one last time and grabbed the phone. He sneaked out of the room.

“Leon?”

He halted and turned. Matthew rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Why are you dressed…like that in the middle of the night?”

Leon clutched his bag tightly and smiled.

“I’m going to see a friend. He needs me. I’ll be back soon. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“But where are you going?” Matthew asked, more awake now. He scanned Leon from head to toe. The boy was fully dressed with a backpack.

“Somewhere. I’ll come back tomorrow morning. Don’t worry.”

Leon grinned and quickly went back into his room. He grabbed his stuffed panda and handed it to Matthew.

"By the way, I want you to take care of him while I'm away." He samiled. "He hates being alone in the dark as much as I do."

The blond blinked at the adorable toy and gasped. "But...but isn't this your favourite..."

"I think he will become good friends with Mr. Kumajirou."

Leon waved Matthew goodbye.

“And don’t tell Dad.”

Matthew frowned. He wished he had chased after him.

It was the last time he ever saw Leon.

* * *

They met at the crossroads. They both brought their bikes with them. Leon took out a creased map from his pockets and unfolded it.

“Right, we’ll just cycle along the trails, into the woods and up the hill. Takes 5 to 6 hours. Kinda easy.” Leon said. Emil nodded.

“You ready?” The boy looked over to his friend.

“Always.” Emil grinned back.

They found the cabin, situated in the depth of the woods, shadowed by tall trees and a gigantic garden. There was a lagoon nearby. One could see through its bottom. A wrecked bridge extended to the middle of the water.

They stepped into the forsaken house. The floor creaked. There was a couch in the sitting room. A coffee table. A fireplace that could keep them warm in winter. An open kitchen with rudimentary equipment. A bedroom with a double bed. Veiled by layers of dust.

They put down their bags and skimmed through the cabin.

“Cool, maybe we get to sleep with some squirrels or chipmunks," Leon snickered. Emil gave his arm a light punch.

They tidied up the place and settled down.

“And we don’t need to worry when they call.” Leon held up his phone and chuckled. “No signals detected here.”

They took out a sleeping bag and nodded off snuggling up against each other that night.

The next morning, they took the sheets and washed them in the lagoon. They brought out the canned food they stuffed into their bags and cooked them on the stove. The snacks would last them at least several days.

“What will happen after that?” Emil asked as they lay next to each other on the floor.

“Don’t know.” Leon shrugged.

“Will we starve to death?”

“Maybe.” Leon rolled over and smirked at Emil. “You scared?”

“No.” Emil pouted and kissed the boy. He climbed on top of him and straddled his body.

Finally, he got to touch that face thoroughly. He got to kiss that body as much as he wanted. Without anyone knowing. Seeing. Telling them off.

He stripped the boy slowly and hugged him. Leon’s body felt soft and wonderful in his arms. He started tracing his lips on that porcelain skin, pecking at each exposed part tenderly.

Leon lay back down and groaned. He helped Emil rid of his clothes. The two boys stared at each other for a moment before sealing their lips together. Their tongues slapped against each other fiercely.

“I love you,” Emil whispered. His hand reached down to stroke his partner’s length. Leon moaned and sucked on the other boy’s fingers. They were crammed into his entrance gently. He wrapped his legs around Emil’s waist. They didn’t need to close their eyes anymore.

They were right there. In front of each other.

It’s almost like…

A dream came true.

Their bodies joined graciously. Heat. Warmth. Pleasure. Their grunts rang in the air. The most beautiful sounds ever. Their lips glided over each other’s bodies. Sweet. Blissful.

They had the entire night to themselves. All the time ahead.

Emil moaned and filled the body beneath him. Leon came on his stomach. Sweat coated his forehead. They kissed.

“I love you, too.”

* * *

The night was chilly on the lagoon. They lay next to each other on the boat. They had rowed it to the middle of the water. Stars scattered across the night’s sky. They sparkled. They surrounded the place.

“It’s like they’re embracing us,” Emil pointed out.

“Look! A shooting star!” Leon gasped. The two boys quickly shut their eyes and made a wish.

“You know I used to come here for stargazing when I was small.” Leon grinned. “Granny will always cook me nice food.”

“It’s beautiful,” Emil exclaimed. “Everything here is so beautiful. Including you.”

Leon laughed. He gave Emil’s hand a slight squeeze.

“What wish did you make?”

“I’m not telling you.” Emil pouted. “It won’t come true.”

“Silly,” Leon muttered. He turned over to face Emil and brought his hand to his cheek. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Huh?”

“Because my wish will always come true if you’re with me.”

They smiled and closed their eyes. The boat whirled and swirled on the water. Tiny ripples danced on the lagoon. The stars never stopped twinkling.

* * *

They tracked down the cabin a few days later. They found the keys. The leftovers. The phones. 

But they never found the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally...I know it ends rather abruptly but I have to admit it physically hurts to write this story. I didn't expect I would come this far with this story. When I first wrote it, I didn't even know what I was doing. I don't know how many people and who are reading this. I did tear up a bit writing chapter 6. I don't know if it's because some details echo with realities some people are facing. Dysfunctional families are everywhere. Sometimes, what happened in one's youth remains etched forever. Despite how much it hurts to see these two adorable characters suffer, I can't go ahead and write an inconsistent, happy ending because this story is meant to be twisted, tragic and breaking at some point. It's not a comedy. But one thing I can say is, both Arthur and Mathias came out realising their faults and they did change themselves towards the end. Leon and Emil have also lived through the realisations. They eventually made their own choices and took the lead of their life. I'll leave the fate of the two to your own interpretations. Even if a wish can only stand the slightest chance, there is still a chance. Trust it. Reviews appreciated :3


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